Self-belief

I think it will come as no surprise to say that self-belief comes from within. Perhaps then it will also be no surprise how common it is that each of us rely more heavily about what we think others think about us. In fact, the stories we tell ourselves about how we think others see us heavily shape the way we think about ourselves, even when there is little or no factual evidence, to back these stories up. If they were to be made into a book you would find them in the fiction section.

Self-belief is critical to self-confidence, what we believe in ourselves helps manage our courage in different situations. I call different situations out as you likely find that in some situations you feel more confident doing something, this may even be subconscious, like feeling confident you can drive. This is because you know you can drive and therefore likely wouldn’t even class that thought as self-confidence. Yet, it is.

Confidence is such a critical element of what makes us human, with a higher level of confidence we see the world in a happier state and more importantly we see ourselves more positively. If we find it difficult to accept praise, tend to knock ourselves back, telling ourselves we are not capable, growling ourselves for making a mistake, calling ourselves discouraging names even not being able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say ‘I love you’ there is opportunity to work on our self-belief.

Most of what we think of ourselves is linked to how others, of influence, thought of us when we were growing up. Were you laughed at when you tried and failed? Were you told that you would never amount to anything? Were your achievements compared to a sibling? Did you overcompensate to be good in your family because your parents or guardians were struggling with the behaviours of a sibling or from your view you decided you knew what behaviours could help avoid the same outcome? The list could go on, and I have no doubt that at this moment, you have thought of the one that relates to you.

As a result, we have developed our own internal dialogue, our big bad wolf! Telling us I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty, I’m not smart enough, I’m not capable, I always get it wrong, I’m a bad mother/father/sister/brother/friend etc. Then when we experience setbacks in life these add further to our internal dialogue and at times, we think they help confirm and validate the negative thoughts. It makes it really challenging to step forward confidently in life when your big bad wolf is constantly blowing gusts of wind that make you feel like you will fall backwards before you can move forward.

Believing you are worthy of self-confidence, believing in YOU, is the first critical step towards cementing your confidence blocks in place. Without this cement the blocks can be easily blown over making the task of rebuilding them feel exhausting and, in some cases, unobtainable. We all suffer setbacks in life, yet the awesome news is that you can silence your big bad wolf. Thank it for being there trying to protect you but that you really do not need it anymore. You see our internal chatter is there with the best of intentions, yet without guidance on how to provide the best outcome it can led us astray and do more harm than good. By working on our self-belief and how we think of ourselves, rewriting the internal dialogue we start laying the cement which holds our confidence blocks together. With this cement our confidence becomes stronger and provides us the capability of being able to withstand the strong gusts of wind that come our way.

How confident would you say you are? If you were asked to rate your confidence level on a scale from 1 – 5, five being highly confident and one being I like to stay quiet as I will no doubt stuff things up, where would you be? Yes, you can use decimal points, at the end of the day this is your scale so feel free to be as specific as you want to. What about your self-belief level? Is it the same number as your confidence level?  Where would you like these levels to be? This is your goal.

Are you wanting to build these levels, so you reach your goal? Are you wanting to learn the steps that help you successfully lift your self-belief & confidence? Are you interested in learning more so you can further help those around you? Are you simply curious? If you are, then thank goodness you are here – this blog series is what you need.