9 Ways To Overcome Fear by becoming more self-confident

Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is, fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear itself. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful. If left unchecked fear can manifest into a feeling of anxiousness.

The great news is, if YOU don’t want it to, fear doesn’t need to hold you back forever. There are several ways to overcome fear & become more self-confident, here are my top 9:

Our minds can play tricks on us. It is important that we distinguish Truth from Fiction. You can achieve this by asking one simple question. Ask yourself:

“How do you know this to be true?”

Ask this question as many times as you need to until you locate the facts. Then place the facts over your feelings. Our emotions can play a game of self-sabotage, things like ‘they haven’t replied to my text, I must have done something wrong’. When you ask yourself, ‘How do you know this to be true?’ You force yourself to step back and look at the situation from a different angel and through a different lens. Find what you know to be FACTS about the situation, when we are in a vulnerable thought space our self-sabotage thoughts are at their greatest. Checking what is fact from fiction will help bring you back to a space of self-knowing.

Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you.

Learning to identify YOUR trigger will help you learn to recognise it, empowering you to then choose how it affects you.

You might be thinking, wait, are you saying I create my own triggers? My answer isn’t as straight forward as a Yes or No. We all have experiences in our lives, some invoke joy, some sadness & some fear and so on. When a similar situation occurs then our pre-programmed reactions can be triggered. This is our sub-conscious.

Becoming more mindful and aware of ourselves, helps us identify when these triggers occur. For those that are triggering negative feelings like fear, when we better understand what is behind the trigger it gives an opportunity to work on releasing ourselves of that constraint.

A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people in different ways. Identify if and how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body.

If you find your stress has manifested physically introduce a regular activity like Yoga, Pilates, mindfulness, or meditation to help release the tension.

Living a life of gratitude helps you focus on what is good in your life, when we live with gratitude the laws of attraction occur & we no longer focus on what we don’t have, what we worry might happen or what hasn’t gone well. We focus on what we do have, what we have achieved, embrace who we have in our lives and celebrate what has gone well.

Creating a gratitude practice: Choose the beginning or the end of the day to write down 3 things you are most grateful for. Tip: if you struggle at the beginning then start small things like I’m thankful for waking up, I’m grateful to have a house to live in etc. Do this for 30 days, research shows it takes at least 28 days to form a new habit, after 30 days not only will you have formed a habit of writing about gratitude you will experience the wonderous impact of having a grateful way of thinking. This seriously can transform your life.

Monitor

Monitor your inner conversations. Your thoughts only you get to hear.

Friend test

If you notice your thoughts are negative conduct the friend test. Would you say the same thing to a friend if they came to you for help? Chances are you wouldn’t so stop saying it to yourself. Be your own friend, be kind to yourself, there is power in changing the way you think.

Positivity

Show self-compassion & kindness by using positive language when speaking to yourself. When we do, the world around us changes, we start seeing the good that comes of things, we start seeing the possibilities we have, we become happier within ourselves.

Flip

When you become aware of a negative thought flip it into a positive one. For example: ‘I’m not coping well’ can be flipped to ‘I’m coping as best I can given the situation.’ Or ‘I’m not a good manager’ to ‘I’m being the best manager I can be today, and tomorrow I will get even better.’

Care

Use kind language when you are self-referencing. Use positive reference words like I can & I will. If, at first, it feels too unusual to use those powerful positive statements discover the power of the tag word ‘yet’. Turning a ‘I can’t do something’ statement into ‘I can’t do something yet’ provides promise of the day when you can or will.

Develop

Practice, practice, practice until it feels normal and then becomes natural. To master something we need to practice, mind training is no different, be patient and kind to yourself as you stick with it knowing that the benefits are a happier more enriched life for you.

Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. When we think of what we don’t have (glass half empty thought pattern) we feel glum and unmotivated to discover a way forward. Whereas when we think about what we do have or have achieved, no matter how small (glass half full thought pattern) we feel encouraged and motivated to path a way forward.

Think positively and you will give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought.

Overtime, being capable of reframing your thoughts will become quicker and will develop into a wonderful habit.

Re-centering

Allows you to slow your mind, calm your heartbeat & place you into a pro-active state of mind. You can do a grounding exercise using mediative techniques. Or find a quiet place and take 5 deep, long breaths, count to 5 to inhale and 5 to exhale and once complete smile. Even a forced smile will work. This technique can be used anywhere, at any point to calm and center you.

Meditation

Adding meditation into your life can help improve your way of thinking, release stress & add joy. It’s most powerful as a daily practice, however, it’s positive impact still resonates when practiced three times, twice or once a week. Whatever regularity works for you, there are many apps available, one I recommend is Insight Timer.

 Mindfulness

Our lives can become so routine we miss the amazingness passing us by. We can reactivate this easily by stopping, pausing, listening & becoming aware. Try driving a different direction to work or reverse your meal routine for the day, these subtle changes help you start seeing, feeling & experiencing what is happening around you & how you interact with the world.

Laughter releases endorphins. Endorphins are our ‘feel good hormones’. When released they help relieve pain and fear.

Laugh out loud, it will feel forced initially & a little silly, yet that silly feeling will start to build and help you laugh even more. You can do this wherever you are, or if you prefer, find a place where you feel more comfortable. If it helps to get you started, remember something funny that you experienced or saw, if nothing comes to mind it’s absolutely okay, as the physical motion and experience of forced laughter will build into more natural laughter and still do the trick.

These 9 strategies are a place to start, they may not all work for everyone, experiment and find the ones that work for you. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear or anxiety hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential this year!

Taking steps to leaps with Dalice Rose

– Certified Transformational Coach